


Just A Stupid Dream

by flower_tier



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: A lot of other characters are kind of in it but not really??, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flower_tier/pseuds/flower_tier
Summary: Evan x Jared + prompt 27.) "I'm with you okay? Always"~~~~~~~~~Evan still struggles to accept that people have forgiven him when he finds it hard to forgive himself.





	Just A Stupid Dream

He knew he was dreaming as soon as he noticed the world was white around him. There were no indications that anything existed in the world other than himself, not even a discernible floor.

Evan could feel his heart rate picking up. He had had this dream before many times. It always started the same way and it always ended the same way, night after night after night. He braced himself since he at least knew what to expect. It made it easier, but it didn't hurt any less.

Slowly, he turned as a circle of people began to encompass him, consisting of kids from school, his mom, the Murphys, Connor... He took them all in as they stared at him. It felt like they were boring holes into his very being. Honestly, they very well might've been trying to, judging from the extreme disdain that their gazes held. Things stayed this way for roughly a minute in dead silence before Connor stepped forward and spoke.

" _Tch. Me? Friends with a freak like you? Fat fucking chance_." His words felt like ice cold daggers ripping through Evan and then he faded from sight.

Next was his mother.

" _Maybe if you weren't so messed up, we would've had more money_." Evan winced and began playing with his fingers as she then also disappeared.

Then came the Murphys, all at once. He was slightly glad for that since that meant getting them over with.

They spoke in unison, causing a haunting chill to wash over Evan. " _We trusted you. We let you into our home and you lied to us. How can you even live with yourself_?"

They slowly faded out as well and the pattern continued on. One after the other his classmates stepped forward. He didn't even know most of these people, but their comments still hit close to home.

" _Liar._ "

" _Weirdo._ "

" _Why do you even bother_?"

A steady flow of tears were streaming down Evan's cheeks. He thought he should be used to this by now, but then again hearing comments over and over doesn't make them any less mean. It didn't help that they kept getting progressively worse with each person until...

There was only one left.

Evan didn't want to look up as he already knew who it was and, quite frankly, _he didn't want to hear this again._ With everyone else, it hurt. It stung. Their words haunted him from day to day, but this _broke_ him every single time.

" _Evan. Look at me._ "

Jared's voice was shaky; it sounded just like it did after their fight over the letters. Evan remembered it all too well.

He continued to stare downwards at his feet, not obeying the dream-figure before him. It was then that Jared approached him and now stood maybe a foot in front.

" _Look at me._ " He tried again and Evan still refused, beginning to mumble.

"Go away, go away, go away, go away-" It felt like he was a broken record on repeat.

" _Go away, huh? I'd be more than happy to._ "

Tears were gathering quicker in his eyes and he moved his hands to his ears. "Th-This isn't real!"

" _Might as well be. You know I'm sick and tired of dealing with you._ "

"N-No! Jared wouldn't... He's not-"

" _How would you know? How would you know anything about him when you're such a selfish freak? Putting people through so much shit for your own personal gain... How pathetic._ "

" _Stop it!_ Stop it, stop it, stop it!"

Jared put his hands on both of Evan's shoulders and began to shake them.

" _Evan, look at me!_ "

" _No!_ "

" _Evan!_ "

" _No!_ "

" _Evan!_ "

" _No!_ "

"EVAN!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Evan awoke with a start, springing up and gasping for air. His heart was beating so fast he could feel it in his ears and he could taste tears. Looking over to his left, he saw Jared sitting up next to him, glasses haphazardly thrown on and eyes full of worry.

_Shit._

He'd been trying to keep this nightmare from the other in order to not worry him, but it seems that was all lost now. Evan gulped, mind running a mile a minute as he tried to think of what he could say to explain himself. Nothing was coming to mind and his face flushed in embarrassment as he began trying to stutter out _something_ at least.

"I-I, uhm, I just was, uh-"

"Evan. Don't lie to me." Jared interrupted, moving to place a hand on Evan's shoulder. He flinched a bit at the contact. "What were you dreaming about?"

Evan really wanted to lie anyways, but he figured that'd be playing right into the dream, wouldn't it? He doesn't want to have to handle keeping secrets anymore... Looking Jared in the eyes, he opened his mouth to speak, but got choked up as his emotions started catching up to him again.

Jared took that as a cue to scoot towards him and pull the other into a hug, comfortingly rubbing his back as he sobbed into his shoulder. Evan hugged back tighter than Jared thought was possible and gripped at the back of his nightshirt.

As Evan's tears seemed to subside a bit, Jared spoke up again. "What happened in your dream, Ev?" He retracted from the hug a bit so he could look the other in his eyes, but still held on to him. "You know you can tell me, right?"

Evan slowly nodded in response and let out a shaky breath. "There, uh... There was a lot of people from-from school and Connor and mom and the Murphys and..." He paused to take in a deep breath. "And they all started saying stuff... Stuff that I... that I think about myself and what I kinda sorta maybe think that I deserve? And, uh, they slowly started disappearing after-after they talked until, um... until it was just you left..."

Jared visibly tensed, but kept a gentle hold on Evan. He had a sense that he already knew what was coming.

"You, uh... you said you wanted... to leave me... and I... I couldn't blame you..." Evan averted his gaze as he saw the other take a bit of offense to that.

"Evan, that's bullshit."

He actually looked up at that, not all too surprised at the other's lack of subtlety, but a little taken aback nonetheless. He was met with a intense, concerned gaze and he wasn't sure exactly how to reply to that statement. Luckily, he didn't have to.

Jared's hands moved to pull Evan's face closer to his. "I've known you practically my entire life. If I wanted to leave you, I've had many fucking opportunities." Evan wasn't sure if that was supposed to be making him feel better. "But, I stuck around! 'Cause you are one of the sweetest guys I've ever met and what happened in high school was just a product of shitty timing, anxiety, and teenage hormones. _And it's not all your fucking fault, all right?_ I've stuck by you this long and I have no intentions of doing any different."

All Evan could manage to do was nod in response as a few more tears started welling in his eyes. But, they were happier tears. Jared leaned forward and began kissing some of them away, causing the corners of Evan's lips to pull up into a small smile.

“ _I’m with you okay? Always._ Don't ever forget that. No matter how much of an ass I am sometimes-” Evan chuckled. "-No, I mean it, I know I'm not the best sometimes, but no matter what I say, I still love you."

Evan leaned his forehead against Jared's. "Thanks... That... means a lot... A-And I always still love you, too!"

Jared smiled wide and Evan's heart swelled. He leaned in and they connected in a soft series of kisses. They went from each other's lips to cheeks to forehead. It was sleepy and a little sloppy, but what more could one expect from two tuckered out dorks in love?

"Can we go back to sleep now?" Jared asked before letting out a long, drawn-out yawn.

Evan nodded and they both laid back down. Their hands didn't move from each other, though, and they fell asleep entangled in each other's embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> I've not written either of them before s o I hope this was all right?? (*´Д｀*)  
> ~~  
> (Requests are still bein' accepted @ insanely-cool-Jared-Kleinman :0c)


End file.
